How many of us have been in an environment of anxiety? At work or play? A place where one or two,maybe more, impose their will unjustly and specifically toward someone. Maybe they hit or threaten physical harm. Words can be a weapon also, sent by e-mail or phone. The verbal threat can take the form of name calling, mocking, teasing or simply making fun of what a person is wearing. How can calling someone a name be a threat you might ask? Well,any action that causes another anxiety can be a threat. That person may develop a paranoia causing distress and malfunction of personality, based on this name, the interjection of abusive behavior is the threat.
So you see verbal bullying is as powerful as physical. I know,I know, the standard retort. People just have to toughen up and not be so sensitive. After all its a big bad world and if you can't take a little old fashioned shunning your a puss. Absolutely, a certain amount of 'firing the pot' is necessary to survival in today's world. What is not is the sacrificing of the ill prepared to accelerate our own position of strength. I'm saying if you or I were disadvantaged with a fault or stigma in our personality ,and I assure you we are, most certainly it would be foul play to point it out in such a manner. Verbal name calling, mocking or teasing are not constructive criticism. Pretty basic rule of thumb here and as corny and preachy as it comes across it is so true I must say 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
O.K. Halfway through and it ought to be clear I'm talking about bullying and the forms it can take. My workplace is no different than any other.There is a boss ,several actually, and those of us that do what we are told. Various levels of doing exists, sometimes we are one, others ,one is obligated by rank based on seniority to step up and be responsible for performance.This very model, in my opinion, can breed conflict based on no real allotment of authority. It came to pass that a fellow employee ill prepared for whatever reason (I choose not to be specific about shortcomings) could not deal with the format and as a result turned on those felt responsible.The fallout was swift and harsh. Shunning is not a pretty thing. Packs are formed, people move in and out based on their involvement with the victim. Uh huh, I said victim. Social alienation for any reason is bullying. Gossiping, humiliating , spreading rumors, excluding someone from a group and encouraging others to hate are serious attacks on the 'victims' well being.
We've talked about the act of bullying and have touched on the victim now lets look at the third party to every incident. My friend,(after all I have so much in common given my profession, my status in the community and responsibility to that said group), suffered humiliation and isolation developing this paranoia I referred to earlier and reacted strongly, turning and attacking all with a broad brush. At first that bothered me. I had not done wrong that I'm aware of .Why include me or others that abstained from complicity?
The third party to an act of bullying is a witness. If I were talking to a group now at least one would be a bully, one a victim and one a witness to the offense. A step further,we have all at one time or other been privy to an incident of bullying. Someone called a name, poked fun or attacked another in one of the many ways described. What did we do? In most cases nothing.
In my world I have come to conclude I was indeed complicit. By choosing, and we do have a choice, to not act or maybe even chuckle along with my coworkers, I attacked this person. And for that I must suffer my conscious. To deny your conscious is to forgo true happiness. I'm here to tell you it is not worth the price you pay.
Please allow me to present the following complaint procedure as laid out at my place of employment. Although site specific the jest of its intent can be modified to apply to your environment. Whether it be at work or at school or even at play (the rink,playground or ball field) there are people who care. I'm talking to the victim now, there are people who care!, involved within the infrastructure of your environment.
If you are being harassed,make your disapproval known to the harasser and request the behavior stop.
If not satisfied write your complaint as soon as possible and get it to human resources at work or your principle or coach etc...
Your supervisor, Principle, coach or parent has a responsibility to investigate and take appropriate action upon any discrimination / harassment or complaint of such while providing leadership in discouraging such actions.
In closing I think its worth noting that bullying has in many places been recognized as a health and safety issue. I know that very soon the Ontario Government will ingrain, through legislation, the act of bullying into the Provincial Health and Safety Act. This event will go a long way to ensuring the workplace a tool of intervention on our behalf.
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